


Pranksters Gambit

by Saesama



Series: 28xFirst Kiss Combo [27]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: ACME devices, Cartoon Physics, F/M, First Kiss, Pranks, Prospitcest, gratuitous use of shaving cream, super silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-19 05:58:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/880243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saesama/pseuds/Saesama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Mayor is pranked, only Can-Town's finest investigator can bring the perpetrator to justice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pranksters Gambit

The scene was a mess, white splatters covering the walls and ground as if the Stay-Puff man had been gutted on site. There were gaps in the mess where the victims had fallen, and the most prominent gap of all was the epicenter of the splatter pattern, where the perpetrator had stood. You crouched, lightly touching the white fluff sprayed across the ground. 

Barbasol, and fresh. He was near.

You stood, clutching your ACME spring-loaded punching glove. A sudden breeze whipped your fedora from your head and you spun around, squinting in the warehouse gloom. "Not fair, attacking a lady's hat," you called out, stepping over to the fallen article.

You expected the attack. As soon as your fingers brushed your fallen fedora, there was the distinctive _clunk-swoosh_ of a catapult and you rolled to the side. You came up with your hat on your head and your gun at the ready and the meringue pie shot past you to add another layer of white to the floor.

You could see him moving in the shadows in the next aisle and you gave chase, skidding briefly in shaving cream as you turned the corner. He was waiting at the next corner for you, Groucho Marx glasses on his nose and he waggled over-sized eyebrows saucily. You reached into your pocket and threw and he bolted again, but you weren't aiming for him and he stepped on the banana peel dead-on. With a yell, he went skidding into the next aisle over, his silly disguise spinning briefly in the air before landing almost at your feet. A tremendous crash heralded his unceremonious stop against a shelf of ACME goods.

You carefully stepped over the mess, glove at the ready. He wasn't there.

"What-"

The trap sprung perfectly, a metal cage falling from overhead. You tried to dodge and nearly lost your toes when the trap crashed down around you. You clutched the bars and glared out of your prison at the grinning man approaching you from the gloom. "Well played, Mr. Egbert," you admitted grudgingly.

"Course it was," he replied flippantly. He leaned against the cage and folded his arms. "So," he drawled. "What brings Can Town's most famous private eye after me?"

"Pranking the Mayor, mostly," you told him. "And the challenge."

He leaned in, eyes sparkling mischievously. "The challenge, huh?" he prodded.

You reached out and grabbed his collar and kissed him between the cage bars. His eyes went wide for half a second before he started to reciprocate, and you pulled both of his hands into the cage and slipped a Chinese finger trap over his index fingers. "The challenge," you grinned up into his outraged face. Your Gambit hit the roof and from the way his expression went sulky, he knew it.

He later escapes from jail using a paperclip and a huge wooden mallet. You can't find it in you to be disappointed.


End file.
